Not Like
by TribalGirl
Summary: "Of course, Will is nice and all," she thought, "but he has no personality.  Not like... No. NO.  I refuse to ever think about James Potter in that way."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I am not Joanne Kathleen Rowling. I am not a bazillionaire. I could never write something as good as the Harry Potter books. Therefore, I do not own them. Do the math, people.**

**Right, this is the first of two LilyxJames oneshots I have planned. Both of them are scenarios of how Lily could have realized her feelings for James. Both of them are from Lily's POV. The second one isn't published yet; I'll let you know when it is.**

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The air inside the Three Broomsticks was hot and stuffy, but the winter chill still clung to Lily, cooling her face and providing some relief from the heat of all the people. She twisted her mug in her hands, feeling it warm her frozen fingers.

The boy sitting across from her put down his mug with a decisive click. "Well, this is some date."

"Sorry, Will," Lily apologized, feeling guilty. She'd let her thoughts drift and hadn't payed any attention to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. It was still hard to think of Will as that, even though they'd been going out for four months.

"Don't mention it," grinned Will. "Hey, Lily, you know what Ben Smithers did this morning in the dorm?"

As Will launched into the story of the way his friend had snuck up on another boy and doused him in cold water, Lily did her best to pay attention, but the heat of the room made her feel drowsy and distracted. The butterbeer wasn't helping. As always, her thoughts wandered.

Tomorrow was the beginning of Christmas break, and she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to stay or go home. Either way, she had to decide fast; she needed to sign up before tomorrow. Her friend Alice had offered to let her stay at her house if she wanted to leave, but Lily didn't want to leave behind her other friends, not to mention the festive decorations of the holidays...

"There's something you should know," began Will, interrupting her thoughts. "I'm going home for the holidays -"

All right, thought Lily. How is this important?

"- and I'm not coming back."

Lily sat upright in her seat. "What? Why?"

Will sighed. "This new threat, from You-Know-Who... My parents have decided I'm safer being homeschooled. They're picking me up tomorrow morning. This'll be the last time I see you, Lily."

Lily bit her lip. "But - "

Will stood up, and she followed suit. "Don't worry about me. I'll write. Come on, let's go back to the castle, I'm burning up in here."

Lily slung her coat over her shoulders and joined him, still somewhat confused. Then Will turned to face her, took her hands, and kissed her quickly. "Right, now let's go."

Lily followed him. For her first kiss, it had been somewhat anticlimactic. She hadn't felt any of the emotions that were supposed to come with it, and she had been too surprised and flustered to savor the moment. And there had been something else. Just for a moment, after she and Will separated; the flash of a face in the window, with untidy black hair. James Potter. It had been just a glimpse, but she could still see the anger, sadness, and confusion in his features. Lily knew that Potter was an arrogant git, but she just couldn't stand seeing that look on anyone's face. No matter how obnoxious they were.

They emerged onto the street, and the swirling wind, laden with snowflakes, brushed against Lily's face. James was nowhere to be seen.

A group of boys emerged from Honeydukes across the street, holding bags that Lily imagined were laden with Fizzing Wizbees, Sugar Quills, and who knew what else. "Hey, Will!" one of them called. "Look what we got! You want to come share?"

Will looked longingly at the bulging bags, then faltered and glanced back at Lily. "Do you mind...?

She shook her head.

Will ran to meet his friends, calling, "Hold up, Jake!"

Lily continued on her way, realizing that she and Will had just broken up; their relationship obviously wasn't going to continue long distance. Once again, Lily felt a peculiar lack of emotion. She was sure she should be feeling all the typical feelings of sadness, guilt and frustration, but instead there was a sort of acceptance. Could it be that she had never had that many feelings for Will in the first place?

_Of course, he's nice and all_, she thought, picking her way through a snowdrift, _but he has no personality. Not like... Wait, who am I thinking about?_

There was no time to ponder this question as a figure rounded the corner and stopped in front of her.

"Hey, Evans."

"What is it, Potter?" Ordinarily, Lily would have flared up at the sight of him, but her glimpse of his dismayed face in the window had confused her; she felt only a sense of impatience.

James ran a hand through his hair. "I saw you in the Three Broomsticks," he blurted finally. "With that... kid."

"So?" Now Lily's temper was rising. "Yeah, Potter. I was with Will. Although seeing as we've broken up now I hardly think that's -"

"You've broken up?" James couldn't seem to keep the delight out of his voice.

"Not exactly. More like I'm never going to see him again so there's not much point. He's being homeschooled," explained Lily, not knowing why she was bothering.

James made a face. "Homeschooling. Never cared much for the idea."

"Let me guess: it's because when you're at home, there's no one to prank?"

He flashed a grin. "Yeah, pretty much."

"And because everyone here worships you and your little gang?"

Now James was laughing. "Yeah, I admit it."

Lily found herself thinking about Will just then. Will would have vehemently denied all these accusations - actually, Lily wouldn't even have accused him in the first place. Her earlier thoughts flashed back to her. _He has no personality. Not like..._

_Not like James Potter._

Her breath caught as she realized what she'd been thinking. _No. NO. I am NOT thinking about James Potter in that way. _She'd actually thought of Potter as having personality? Not as being obnoxious or arrogant or egotistical? And yet the sight of him through the window, angry and distraught, still burned in her eyes. In that moment, she'd felt a flash of pity, a desire to make him feel better... a feeling which still hung in the back of her mind.

"Hey Evans, are you okay?"

Lily realized she'd been standing there with her eyes wide open and her fists clenched. "I'm fine," she snapped, her temper rising. "And James, here's a tip. If you want people to believe that you actually like someone, you should call them by their first name. Then maybe you'd actually get a date."

James started to respond, then blinked in surprise. "You just called me by my first name. Not Potter, or arrogant toerag. You called me James." A slowly widening grin appeared on his face. "Wait a sec. Going by what you just said - "

"No - " whispered Lily.

"Come on, Evans, don't deny it. You like me." His grin looked rather smug. She'd always hated that expression, but now...

"Yes!" she snapped, unable to contain herself any longer. "Yes, I like you, and Merlin knows why I do! I like you even though you're arrogant and obnoxious and completely full of yourself - "

"Ah, stop it. That's part of my charm."

Lily glared at him. Actually, he right in his own way, though there was no way she was going to tell him that.

"So," she muttered, casting around for a new topic of conversation, "are you staying for the holidays?"

"Yeah." James shrugged. "Like I said, at home there's no one to prank."

"That must be hard." Sarcasm dripped from Lily's words.

"Actually, it is. What about you?"

Lily shrugged. "Haven't decided yet."

"You should stick around."

Lily glared at him again. "Just because I told you I like you, James, doesn't mean I'm going to become your girlfriend for you to parade in front of the entire school."

James looked aghast. "Who said anything about that?"

"Well, it's the whole reason you want me to go out with you, isn't it?"

"No way!" James's mouth was wide open. "I want to go out with you because you're smart, beautiful, and feisty on top of it, and you don't waste any time with all that cheesy romance stuff."

Lily was surprised. Pleasantly so, in fact. But she did her best to hide it. "I still don't see why I should - "

James's lips quirked in a sly smile. "Then how about I change your mind."

With lightning speed he reached out, grabbed her chin in one hand and the collar of her jacket in the other, and pulled her forward. When her thoughts settled, Lily realized two things. The first one was that her coat was now stretched out of shape, and that it was going to take at least a day for it to return to normal.

The second thing was that James had his lips against hers.

Lily hesitated only an instant. Then she put her arms around him and kissed him back with all her heart. _This_ was what a first kiss should be like. The quiet snow all around, the cool breeze touching her face like a promise, and the knowledge that she was in love with James Potter. It was impossible - and yet here she was.

Finally James pulled away, taking great gulps of air to fill his lungs. "Wow. Just - wow. You realize how long I've wanted this to happen?" Without waiting for an answer, he went on. "So are you staying for the holidays?"

"What?" Lily hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt. "Oh - that." She grinned. "I've decided to stick around." She laced her fingers through his. Without gloves, his hands were cold, but Lily didn't mind. Hers were too.

They set off down the street, leavng behind only footprints and a swirling group of snowflakes, as soft as a kiss.

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**Wow, I wrote that in... what... an hour? Something like that. I have no idea how much time it took because I didn't look at the clock when I started writing. Actually, I think it's more than an hour. Anyway, that's actually pretty fast by my standards. Even oneshots take days to write because I get the dreaded Writer's Block so often.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW If you fave or subscribe without reviewing, you will FELL MY WRAF! If you submit a review less than two sentences long, you also FELL MY WRAF! If you have no idea what FELL MY WRAF means, go read Rosemarylln and her story, which is the worst Percy Jackson and the Olympians fic ever written. It's as bad as My Immortal, except without the M-rating.**

**Anyway, review. Please.**


	2. AN Please Read!

**Okay, people. This is just an author's note, so listen up.**

**I have set a new record! Let it now be officially recorded:**

**Category: Time It takes For TribalGirl To Realize She Is Horribly Ashamed Of One Of Her Fics**

**Time: 1 week**

**It's a record!**

**So yeah, I am now officially horribly ashamed of this fic. However, unlike my other fic that I'm horribly ashamed of, this one can still be salvaged. So I'm starting over. It's going to contain more chapters and span more time and be a lot more believable.**

**And please, reviewer people, try to be a bit nicer. Although it might not seem like it, I'm a very sensitive person. You can tell me what to improve, of course, that's what my story needs, but just try to be gentle and not be sarcastic or else I will start wondering why everyone is flaming the stories I'm proud of and eventually making me horribly ashamed of them. Even though you're actually not flaming.**

**Okay, I talk too much. Anyway, I'm going to try to completely rewrite this fic and make it into something I can read without my face burning. Although it'll probably take a while, so... don't hold your breath.**

**TribalGirl out.**


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